Anonymous missive The first stage of our Internet Suppression Plan (ISP) was the creation of the World Wide Web. As we have previously stated, the WWW’s name was carefully chosen. At first glance it appears to refer to an interpersonal web of friends, exchanging thoughts in open communication. In fact, the “web”is a trap, which has ensnared the net and its users in the same way that a fishing net entangles dolphins.
It’s no accident that WWW users are said to be “surfing”the web. Just imagine what would happen to a surfer who encountered a commercial fishing net, and you begin to understand. It is a “web”of surveillance and creeping consumerism.
Already the WWW is crowded with companies advertising their wares, infiltrating every corner of the WWW with consumer-manipulation memes, urging viewers to buy more, to submit to our plan for society. Incidentally, the choice of words above was not accidental. It is no longer appropriate to refer to Internet “users”. Under the plan, and increasingly true even now, those on the internet will be VIEWERS, mindlessly watching images on their screens, happily accepting the latest corporate ad campaign, scarcely using their conscious mind as they “surf”the web.
Sending credit card information over the net is the next phase of the ISP. It’s not enough to simply advertise merchandise on the Internet. Such a scheme relies on the viewer eventually leaving the screen, and their house, and venturing out into the world to make purchases. This is extremely inefficient, and additionally runs the risk that the viewer may not immediately return and resume watching.
So we are planning to add financial transactions to the WWW as well. In the near future, you will only need to point your mouse at the item you want and click. Software will handle the rest and in short order the items will appear on your doorstep. This is much more efficient – the consumer does not need to leave the house at all, reducing the risk that they may discover non-shopping activities to fill their time.
It’s all part of the grand Shopping-As-Entertainment meme, which we’ve gradually been spreading through the population. It is our objective to make shopping as pleasurable as possible, so that this activity will eventually supplant all other forms of entertainment.
This is already common – many vacationers, for example, take time to visit outlet malls while far from home. We are quite pleased at this development. What good does it do for a conspiracy dupe to, for example, visit the Tatra Mountains, when they could be in one of our stores? Thus there are outlet malls in every corner of the Western World™, that people might have the illusion of a vacation by travelling hundreds or thousands of miles to visit a shopping mall.
Non-shopping recreation fails to generate revenue, and is in fact quite dangerous since it encourages people to reflect on their lives. This is a serious threat to order in western society, since personal reflection can lead to the realization that toiling for long hours in a faceless corporation, in order to better afford mall-distributed trinkets, is not traditionally considered a spiritually fulfilling existence. We absolutely cannot permit this. Thus, shopping as entertainment.
The Conspiracy™: You’re soaking in it.