What precisely is exactly the point you might well ask of being President and everything or I mean even Governor of Arkansas for Christ’s sake if you’re not allowed to plumb the depths of the occasional greed – and power – crazed bimbo intern from time to time at least that’s the way a lot of people would see it but on the other hand as we know the public expects not only devotion to duty in the form of turning up at the office on time and that kind of stuff but also a particular style of emotional and moral orthodoxy which basically translates into the missionary position with Hillary and no whips or rubber or threesomes or anything no funny business at all in fact in case God knows it got into the National Enquirer or something but well I mean it would probably be OK for Hillary to dress up in some kind of underwired cleavage-enhancing outfit designed to make her look like a wholesome all-American big hair and lipstick kind of sex slave just to underline the fact that what Bill is supposed to be representing here is still good old fascist whitebread America when all is said and done and in case anyone might have forgotten temporarily as far as Democratic Mission Control is concerned he does still represent the Good Old Boy moron vote without which as we know it would be back to the George Bush equation for Christ’s sake but let’s get back to the point boys an d girls which is Bill Clinton‘s penis and let’s just take a few quiet moments and consider some facts such as this one which is that what he’s supposed to be doing up there is demonstrating the collective American ability to get it up and so well OK then let’s face it the delight and even glee with which the press and TV have pounced on the idea that the old guy can still bounce the bimbos on the bedsprings from time to time,

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Let’s face it, this is just nature’s way of telling us that we’re collectively so stupid it’s a miracle we can get out of bed in the mornings without hurting ourselves because what we’re trying to celebrate with all this media bullsh*t is our own victorious sexuality that’s right Bill is up there as a symbol of our own no doubt very impressive bimbo-bouncing capabilities and that’s why we give him the right to push the button in the event of nuclear war which as we know would involve hundreds and hundreds of large metal penis-shaped objects all hiding the secret ability to explode in hydrogen bomb orgasms and wow baby was it good for you huh as we can imagine all those lucky people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki being asked by John Wayne or Dick Tracy or Batman or someone because that was back in the olden days before they realized that the right place for infantile American media heroes is right there in the Oval Office.

And if America is made an international laughing stock once again as a result well what the hell boys and girls there’s no business like show business is what I say but gee whiz let us all be prayerful at this time and God Bless America as usual.